Wednesday, June 13, 2012

XIII. Final Script Reflection

Reflect in two page-equivalents on the entire Script Frenzy project....

First Impressions:
When first introduced to the project, I was surprised: it sounded like an unprecedented (for me) challenge in mass production of writing. I was not sure I'd be able to do it, but remained cautiously optimistic as to my chances of success.

Final Impressions:
Of course--I was wrong. Final tally: 73 pages (out of the goal of 100), approximately 2 months from start of writing to finish (rather than the one).

Page Count:
Now for some context. From the pace of the script as it developed, it probably should have run to at least 120 pages rather than the 100 I projected, to fit it the complete arc of the storyline without shorting the development. Of course, I said I finished the script--how did that work? I simply left out the missing 50+ pages and instead summarized them in one or two lines. Yep. But that way I got to write the ending, which I had already planned out in some detail, while not having to bother inventing another 40 pages or so of rising action... So, yeah, I "finished" the script.

Time Management:
And then there was the humorous incident of the timing. Script Frenzy takes place in April. So, obviously, I began writing midway through April and finished midway through June. The late start was due to organizational difficulties, but the one-month overrun was of course entirely my own fault. If you exclude the days I didn't work on the script, I only did about 40 days' worth of work; so my writing speed was less than 2 pages per day of work.

To finish 120 pages in 30 days, I would have needed to write 4 pages per day - and since most days I spent only about 3/4 of a 40 minute class period* writing, I should have spent at least an hour a day writing. (In reality, of course, my output and invested time was much more irregular, varying from 0 to 5 or more pages per day.) And then I would have had to squeeze that work into 30 days rather than spreading it out over twice that time span. So, in terms of time management, I think we can safely say I pretty much failed.

Script Frenzy Workbook:
Most helpful from the workbook were the sections on formatting; the storyline-designing sections were helpful mostly for occasional reference against how my story was progressing, and I didn't use them for planning. The section on shutting up the inner editor was nearly useless (but that was probably my own fault!)

Strengths, Weaknesses, Revisions:
As in post XII, except applied to the whole script. In addition, further improvements would include ensuring that the storyline arc is better balanced, especially by filling in the missing third where development occurs. This should probably include a few well-developed secondary characters, because right now all the characters are the two protagonists, the villain, his henchman, and hundreds of minor, expendable, one-dimensional minions...

Also necessary would be a decision on my overall intention; as of now it isn't quite clear where the script falls in the continuum from completely stereotypical action movie with all the usual tropes, to lame wanna-be action flick that even producers of stereotypical action movies would reject, to ironic send-up of such stereotypical action movies. Anywhere near the outsides of the range would be a success in my book, but I sadly suspect the script currently falls much closer to the middle.

What I Learned:
Writing 100 (or 120) pages in 30 days is hard, and as of now, I don't appear to be up to the time management challenges this brings up. I certainly am capable of conceiving and planning (at least the rough outline of) such a large project, but totally incapable of finishing it on time. :)

*One thing that slowed me down was always having to transfer my writing from home to school and back, which was often necessary to do more than a half hour of writing a day. After a while this became incredibly tedious and I just gave up doing it--which meant my writing progressed even slower.

XII. Scene Reflection

One page (or equivalent length) reflection on the scene from the script (see below).

Strengths:
The scene's obvious strengths are its rising tensions followed by one surprise after another. I quite like the snappy and purposeful dialogue, with each character having a unique voice.

Weaknesses:
Unfortunately, the geography is simultaneously too specific and too vague; in a moment of foolishness I identified the setting as San Francisco, but having no time to research the actual layout of the city I just assumed there would be a location somewhat similar to what I needed and wrote the scene in complete disregard of the actual arrangement of San Francisco... Oh well.

In addition, the physics is not very likely to work in real life, which again is partly a sign of missing research; however, since my aim was to write an often stereotypical (over-the-top) action movie, the lack of complete realism is probably not that great a weakness... :)

Potential Revision:
If given enough time (probably at least a year(!)... if it were even worth it), I would probably want to fix the geographic discrepancy: either fit my scene to San Francisco, or remove the link to the real city completely (allowing me to not have to bother about the geography at all, but forcing me to rewrite earlier scenes). I might check the physics on the 90 degree turn, but then again... Other than that, I'd probably want to do minor, or potentially major, cleanup on the description and dialogue (making sure every line truly fits the character who says it).

And then I'd rewrite the whole script from scratch.

Monday, June 11, 2012

I'm Back

... because I finally "finished" my script. Yes, I know: weeks behind schedule....

Further details in the two following posts (my last Official-tagged, Roman-numeraled posts... how time flies! Below, for further reference: the scene discussed in post XII.

INT. NOPE CENTRAL - CONTINUOUS

The WATCHER follows the motion of the MERCEDES on one of his many MONITORS. The CAMERA stuck to the bottom of the bridge by a daring minion reveals that the amphibious vehicle has passed under the bridge and is heading for the harbor.

WATCHER
(into the headset)
Remember, we want them taken alive. A and B, commence corral sequence!

Another of the Watcher's MONITORS displays two SPEEDBOATS moving slowly out from under the bridge and following the MERCEDES, spreading wide apart to either side of their quarry.

The camera zooms in on the scene and there is a
MATCH CUT:
EXT. THE HARBOR

The speedboats, though quiet, do make an appreciable noise. This filters in to DON inside the vehicle.

INT. AMPHIBIOUS MERCEDES

DON
It appears we're being followed.

JOE
Any chance they're friendly?

DON
It doesn't much look like it.

By now, the SPEEDBOATS have pulled level with the MERCEDES, one a ways to the left, the other to the right.

DON
I really do not like the looks of this at all.

Now the boats begin to CLOSE in, heading towards each other in front of the MERCEDES.

DON
This is looking distinctly like a trap. I'll take us under.

He selects the OPTION and the AMPHIBIAN SUBMERGES.

EXT. UNDERWATER

We see DON, through the windshield, looking around and backward. But more importantly, we see the huge, tangled NET attached at two ends to the two SPEEDBOATS, which has formed almost a complete circle around the SUBMARINE MERCEDES. It goes from just under the surface to too low for the amphibian to dive under.

INT. THE MERCEDES

JOE
(alarmed)
Shit! Can we break through?

DON
Probably, but we'd get tangled and I have a feeling we'd shred the propeller. It appears there's only one way...

He trails off, lost in thought.

JOE
What's that?

DON
Forward into whatever trap has been prepared for us.

JOE
We're just going to let them take us?

While JOE dithers, DON has been getting an idea.

DON
(smiling)
I said we'll go into their trap. I never said we wouldn't come OUT.

INT. NOPE CENTRAL

The WATCHER is slightly uneasy. The MERCEDES submerging was dealt with in the plan, but only as an edge case. That it's doing so now is causing him doubts.

He pushes them aside, knowing that the Mercedes shouldn't be able to escape the net. From the position of the two boats on his MONITOR, he sees that they have just about reached their destination: a RAMP going from the harbor pavement into the water. Trucks have strategically blocked off all routes but one: straight ahead, to where the final ambush is set to take place.

WATCHER
(into headset)
X, Y, and Z, stand ready for capture.

Another MONITOR displays three drivers (in specially placed side streets, ready to give chase into the dead end then block all retreat) starting their cars' engines.

WATCHER
(to himself)
Well, now, you two little escapees... Escape THIS!

INT. THE MERCEDES

The SPEEDBOATS have finished their corraling operation: there is only one way left for DON and JOE to go, namely up the RAMP, dimly visible through the murky water but clear on the SONAR display on the center console.

DON smiles.

DON
Well, I think a successfully attempted ambush would count as an emergency, eh?

JOE
(tense)
Whatever, just get us out of it, okay?!

DON
Hang on, because we're about to go faster.

Dramatic pause; then DON flips open an unobtrusive compartment and pushes the big red BUTTON inside.

EXT. HARBOR

There is a sudden roar, and the water behind the MERCEDES lights up as the one-shot ROCKET engine engages. The EXHAUST is hot enough to stay lit for a few feet before the water extinguishes it.

There is confusion among the CREWS of the two speedboats. No one prepared them for THIS!

INT. THE MERCEDES

We get to see both the passengers' faces as the MERCEDES accelerates out of the water. DON is exhilarated; JOE is trying not to throw up.

INT. NOPE CENTRAL

The WATCHER is not amused. This was not in the plan at all. He makes a rapid mental inventory of his options; it is unsatisfactory. He'll go with the best he has.

WATCHER
(into headset)
X, Y, Z, stand down. Prepare to give chase once their rockets die down.

Before he cuts off the communication channel, we hear the DRIVERS' confused CHATTER. Rockets??

EXT. THE HARBOR RAMP

The MINIONS posted near the side of the RAMP for reinforcement can't believe their eyes as the MERCEDES emerges, dripping wet and lit from behind, at RIDICULOUS SPEED, from the water. As soon as its wheels find traction, it gets another speed boost; then it hits the air and goes into a very long jump.

INT. THE MERCEDES

Cameo: DON is still having fun, and even JOE is beginning to enjoy himself a little.

EXT. THE TRAP AREA

The car continues to fly, past all three side ALLEYS where teams X, Y, and Z are concealed, past all the TRUCKS blocking the other escape routes, and, as its rocket fuel finally runs out...

INT. NOPE CENTRAL

The WATCHER groans. The worst-case scenario has come true. The MERCEDES has caught just enough air not to smash into the STRAW BALES set up at the end of the trap to block the way, but has landed ON TOP of them. It's going so fast at this point that it just skates over the top of them and then crashes down onto the the road.

There is no way to remove all the straw in time for X, Y and Z to give chase. The WATCHER's hermetic trap has sealed in his own troops.

WATCHER
(into headset; bitterly)
All units stand down. Remove all traces. I will have to initiate plan C.

He switches to a different channel using the CONTROLS at his desk.

WATCHER (CONT'D)
(into headset)
P, Q, R, S, you are go: they broke our trap. I advise caution; they may have several tricks left. Non-lethal force only, until further notice.

The MONITORS show the harbor MINIONS taking apart their carefully built defenses; four SUVs starting up and racing to intercept; and the locator DOT of DON's MERCEDES headed toward a T in the road at high velocity....

CUT TO:
INT. THE MERCEDES

DON is having so much fun, his head tilted back, he hasn't realized that the road is ending in a few hundred feet. But JOE has.

JOE
(panicked)
Look at the damn road!!

DON
Whaa...

Then his eyes focus, he snaps back to reality, and with no time to give a warning, jams the brake. Both passengers are thrown forward as the car slows down quickly and appreciably, but the T-junction and the wall behind it is still approaching fast.

DON, his face screwed up in concentration, waits until the last possible second to lose as much speed as possible, then tears the wheel hard left. The car, traveling on its left wheels only, makes the 90 degree left turn with no room to spare--its right wheels are grazing the wall at the back of the intersection. DON pulls the car out of the turn and back onto all four wheels, exhilarated. Now that things are back under control, he allows himself a huge grin.

DON
I love this car.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

XI. Dialogue, Description, Action

Take one of the two sets of dialogue (I chose the one from post X) and add action and description to it.

The TORTURE MASTER crumples to the floor, seemingly in slow motion, the TRANQ DART stuck in his neck.

JOE
(most surprised)
What are you.........

DON
Do not worry. I have come to rescue you....

For the first time DON gets a good look at JOE. He trails off, bemused.

DON (CONT'D)
(wondering half to himself)
Are you really Joe? Are you the man who I raced thousands of miles to find, in great danger to myself and my own sanity, because he holds the knowledge that will help me salvage my career?

JOE
(his confusion turning slowly to anger)
Well, I'm Joe. And all I did was doing some research on this Dr. Nope character, which shoulda been my ticket to the big time, but then they kidnapped me and now they've strapped me to this damn table and, you know, how about you getting me OFF OF IT!!!

He tries to shake his bonds to emphasize his point, but they're too tight to move and he gives up, spent.

DON
(placatingly)
Hold on. You are obviously the man I was trying to find. I will loose your bonds for you, and then we shall escape. But... I just... was not expecting.... that...

JOE
That what? Spit it out already...and then get me off this table. It's damn uncomfortable. And cold.

DON somewhat grudgingly heads over to the TABLE and begins UNDOING JOE's FETTERS while trying to explain.

DON
All right. You are just... somewhat less... imposing than than I expected. I had only a portrait picture to go on, and that promised somewhat more.

JOE
Seriously? THAT's your entire problem? How about you stop obsessing about my looks...

At this point, DON has removed the last of JOE's bonds. JOE STANDS on cramped legs to his entire unimpressive height and shouts up at DON's face.

JOE (CONT'D)
...and start thinking about how to get me OUT of this place? Huh?

The starting of a distant ALARM catches DON's attention. He slowly awakes from his daze.

DON
I suppose that would be an excellent choice, yes.

As the pounding of RUNNING FEET approaches the TORTURE CHAMBER, DON makes a snap decision and PULLS a surprised JOE with him out of the torture chamber towards the EMERGENCY STAIRS.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

While I'm Posting Things...

... I might as well add this note. I'm still behind on the WE's (and probably will be for much of the near future), so I've got to find another way to break up the many official script-related posts I'm churning out. So I thought I'd take this time to note for posterity that on this day I finally added my blog description to the header up above.

This announcement serves two purposes: one, I get to inform anyone who reads this post that that description up top was put there only after 22 posts had already gone up and was not there from the beginning as one might reasonably have expected. I could leave this benign misapprehension uncorrected, but somehow I feel the need to clarify. And two, as noted above, I get to once again divide and conquer the relentless march of Roman numeraled posts.

In other words, I get to satisfy, again, my bizarrely strict yet unreasonably arbitrary* code of aesthetics.

*Fun fact: in my quest to get this word exactly right, I looked up the English translation for the German "willkürlich". That is, I did the exact same thing I was just describing--while writing its description!!!

X. Story-Advancing Dialogue

From The Escape, a fragment of dialogue that moves the story forward. Because I started my script earlier, I can just cut&paste(&format) a segment I already finished...

DON
(flabbergasted)
FIRED???!!

HANDLER
Well, you’re not really fired per se. You’ve just been indefinitely suspended from receiving another assignment.

DON
(petulantly, and rhetorically)
And how does that make it any better?
(then, sharply)
WHY?

HANDLER
(sighing)
You know why, Don.

DON
(crushed)
It’s because of Syria, is it not.

HANDLER
That — and your ridiculous obsession with this “Dr. Nope” character. We’ve told you so many times there’s nothing in it.

DON
But....

HANDLER
(cutting in)
It's a myth, an urban legend, completely fabricated nonsense. And you still won't let go of it. That's your problem: you're too unreliable.

DON
Am I given any second chances?

HANDLER
We'll call you if we need you.
(hesitates, seeing DON’S hopeful expression)
Oh, all right. You get ONE call. And if it's another wild goose chase, you're done. Do you understand?

DON
I do.

HANDLER
(not quite sincere)
Good. I'm sure we'll see each other again sometime.

Incredibly, Still More Explanations

Yep. More explanatory overhead. If you are in my Creative Writing class, you do not need to read this. You already know it. There's no need to waste your time.

But if you're not, you may well be wondering (if you know something about Script Frenzy) what I am doing uploading Script Frenzy-related posts in May when the Script Frenzy month is April... The answer is that due to various logistical reasons, I was still learning the basics in mid-April. Then I began, very slowly, to write, while still not finished with the preparations. I began, roughly, on April 16th and wrote for a week and a half... that gave me 12 pages (I revised way too much--oops). Meanwhile, preparations were still ongoing, and I completed them contemporaneously. Then I was away from the computer for almost one full week and could do nothing. And that brings us up to today, when I'm trying to finish the last preparatory assignments to finally concentrate all my writing on the script.

Interesting deadline calculations approach. I already missed the official April 30th deadline. Our class deadline is now May 31st. But I started two weeks early (or late, depending on your frame of reference) and want to stick to the goal of one month of writing. As a result, depending on whether or not you count the lost week as elapsed writing time, my self-imposed deadline would be either the 15th or the 20th of May, respectively. My guess is, however, that I will end up meeting only the May 31st deadline, as I write too slowly and revise too much...

IX. Relationship-Defining Dialogue

From The Escape, a fragment of dialogue that defines the relationship between two characters. I again spent WAY, way too much time on formatting.

JOE
(most surprised)
What are you.........

DON
Do not worry. I have come to rescue you....
(wondering half to himself)
Are you really Joe? Are you the man who I raced thousands of miles to find, in great danger to myself and my own sanity, because he holds the knowledge that will help me salvage my career?

JOE
(his confusion turning slowly to anger)
Well, I'm Joe. And all I did was doing some research on this Dr. Nope character, which shoulda been my ticket to the big time, but then they kidnapped me and now they've strapped me to this damn table and, you know, how about you getting me OFF OF IT!!!

DON
(placatingly)
Hold on. You are obviously the man I was trying to find. I will loose your bonds for you, and then we shall escape. But... I just... was not expecting.... that...

JOE
That what? Spit it out already...and then get me off this table. It's damn uncomfortable. And cold.

DON
All right. You are just... somewhat less... imposing than than I expected. I had only a portrait picture to go on, and that promised somewhat more.

JOE
Seriously? That's your entire problem? How about you stop obsessing about my looks and start thinking about how to get me out of this place? Huh?

DON
I suppose that would be an excellent choice, yes.

Friday, April 20, 2012

VIII. Dialogue Effectivity Strategies

Three important methods for effectivizing dialogue (taken from two readings):
  1. "Good dialogue gives us the sense that we are eavesdropping" on the characters: they're saying their own thoughts, not reciting canned speeches.
  2. In writing dialogue, "You're not reproducing actual speech--you're translating the sound and rhythm of what a character says into words." You have to make sure the words flow naturally, rather than sounding forced (unless your character naturally talks like that).
  3. Dialogue in scripts should either "reveal characters' relationships to one another" or "move the story forward." Otherwise, it's wasting space.

Quick Aside

You may have noticed that--again--I've taken a longer break from uploading WE's (I'm now all caught up with C-WE's, but there are a few more independent WE's left). Obvious reason: I've been busy (or "busy"), as before. Partly on The Escape, partly on other things... Point is, it may take a little longer for me to finally get those online.

Actually, I have an ulterior motive for explaining myself yet again. I'm about to write blog post VIII, yet another official post, and I want to break things up a bit so there aren't three Official posts in a row (if you count I and Ia as a single two-part post, I have never had three of the same type in a row--and I want to keep it that way). So if you enjoy variation, you're welcome.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

VII. "Hollywood Formula" Fragments

Pieces of the Script Frenzy Official "Hollywood Formula" that can apply to my script, so I applied them (also partly so I could add a little more detail to the relatively bare middle section of my summary in Post VI. before I finally write the actual thing...)
  • 50% Mark (where, "obviously", there can be no more change at all in the protagonists' situation, so obviously things immediately get worse): After Joe and Don conveniently stumbled on a nice deserted bunker, they can finally get some rest, and hope that after a few weeks hiding out underground with the ample provisions that were left there, they might even escape Dr. Nope's minions once and for all. After a brief conversation they fall into a well-deserved sleep--and that, of course, is when one of the minions releases a potent neurotoxin into the bunker's ventilation system. (Of course he/she forgot to bring his/her gas mask, so will stand well back--which allows Joe and Don to escape again, undetected, and with a nice lead on their pursuers.)
  • 50-75% (where The Antagonist Returns! to crush those stupid protagonists once and for all): Some unfortunate minion is sent to tell Dr. Nope that Joe and Don escaped the gassing. After killing the messenger in a particularly bloody and cinematic way, Dr. Nope swears that from now on, he's serious. He's no longer going to send his minions to do this job; he needs certainty of success; he can't farm it out to underlings any more. He's going to start sending his henchmen/women/things.
  • 75% Mark (where All Is Lost--for the first time, not the final time. That's right, all will be lost TWICE; this first time is just to fool you into thinking the movie is over when there's still several important plot twists to go. Obviously, all is not really lost, as the protagonists survive): In a spectacular aerial chase scene, our heroes are in the middle of the Pacific when one of Dr. Nope's top henchmen (not yet specified) catches up to them (or succeeds in ambushing them.) In addition to the threat from the outside, there is another minion inside the plane Joe and Don stole to get away from the previous attack, who's ready to cause them even more trouble. Of course, Joe and Don thwart the attack, but not without crippling their plane. It falls through the clouds and toward a deserted desert island. It crashes and there is a huge explosion. No survivors.*
* Just kidding. Of course Joe and Don survived (this is a movie, after all). They ejected from the plane at the last second and somehow survived the fall (I'll figure out how, or I can just never explain it. Hey, it's a [intentionally cheesy] movie [should that be "a" or "an"??!! Darn parenthetical edge case grammar!], not real life). But they survive and are washed up on the island same island as their plane.**

** In a rare twist, the plane exploded not because of physically unrealistic fuel explosions (i.e., blown up by the moviemakers using whatever the usual explosive for blowing up vehicles for cinematic effect is)--but because of the bomb planted in the toilet by the Dr. Nope minion. So by wrecking their own plane and forcing themselves to bail, Joe and Don in fact had yet another narrow escape from death at Dr. Nope's proxy hands.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

VI. Script Outline

Script Outline for The Escape

  1. Set-Up:  Montage: Without getting too in-depth, this shows mediocre reporter Joe in the late stages of his research into the devilish machinations of the fiendish Dr. Nope. We see his work about to produce fruit--then he disappears. Meanwhile, Don is fired from the CIA; he wanders a few days, then happens upon Joe's now deserted ramshackle house. Intrigued, he researches a bit and learns Joe was after Dr. Nope--which fits nicely with his plans to regain favor with his bosses by researching exactly that criminal mastermind. Back to Joe: he now sits in Dr. Nope's ultra-secret, ultra-high-security prison; currently he's just being isolated, but there is a distinct hint of torture in the future. Don comes closer and closer to tracking down the secret prison.
  2. Inciting Incident:  As the opening credits end, Don finds himself outside the prison--and Joe is just being taken in for torture. Don must act fast, and he does; somehow he manages to break Joe out just before the gruesome torture begins. But now that they're out, they have another problem: how to stay out. Dr. Nope isn't just going to let them escape like that--he'll send all his minions to bring them back. It is as some of his minions report the escape that we first meet Dr. Nope in person. He is angry.
  3. Rising Action:  The majority of the movie is in here. Ironically, this is also the part with the least substance: merely a classic conglomeration of chase scenes, fight scenes, explosions, and other intense action. Any tentative attempt at substantive plot (or the development of any secondary characters) is quickly squashed by yet another attack by Nope minions which forces Don and Joe to go back on the defense or the run.
  4. Climax:  This comes as late as possible in the script, to keep suspense artificially high. Our two intrepid heroes, after all their running, have managed to run themselves right into Dr. Nope's main lair (and they didn't sneak in either: they're completely surrounded by all the firepower Dr. Nope has left--despite all the overblown use of resources in the chase sequences, the remainder is still considerable). All seems lost, but of course we know it can't end like that. And indeed, surprise, surprise, they manage to survive once again! How do they do it?!
  5. Falling Action:  As short as possible: Dr. Nope gives an extended soliloquy whose gist is that they don't understand his true genius, they can't stop him, and even though they survived this time, they'll never escape. By this time, after all that has happened, this sounds pretty weak. And indeed, as soon as Dr. Nope finishes, Joe and Don immediately escape...
  6. Resolution:  Only to meet a final plot twist in the resolution. Because I don't want to spoil the ending, this will have to remain classified information. Suffice it for now to say that, as this is an epic action movie, it's absolutely final for one side of the conflict.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

WE #2: Citizens, Awake!

Written immediately after WE#1
From Take Ten #3-5, "A Forkful of Spoonerisms": Use a pair of spoonerisms--here in bold--to bookend your timed writing piece. I added the note that "the combination of time pressure and little space at the end of a page should serve as incentives to keep things brief" and cut down on my tendency to ramble. It worked--too well: I was told it was too short.

A crushing blow against freedom and democracy was dealt this day by enemies of the state. The state bird is, as everyone knows, a stately, regal raven; it is featured prominently on all government stationary and, lately, on all its websites. Now, hacker group Incognito has hacked the government's servers and replaced the graphic of the state seal with a bemused, hot pink version. To arms, citizens, against these evil perpetrators of vile and shameful deeds, not to mention blasphemers of our sacred emblem! We cannot let these miscreants go unpunished--how can we leave things as they are now? Shall we let our national symbol remain the mockery that this craven group has foisted on us--shall we tolerate their fiendish transmogrification of our stately raven into a blushing crow?

V. Final Script Logline

Final logline for The Escape:

A mediocre journalist and an incompetent ex-CIA agent who miraculously escape the nefarious Dr. Nope's ultra-high-security secret prison must now evade the disreputable minions straining to reincarcerate them. [Word count: still 28]

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

WE #1: Philosophical Speculations

Written February 27, 2012
Independent idea trigger: Philosophizing (gah! why? I really don't know) about the limits on our freedoms in writing exercises...

So I was wondering, how free are we in these writing assignments? I would think, as vehicles for our expression, practice for growth as a writer, etc. etc., there should be as few restrictions as possible, so we can best develop our craft, etc. etc. But then we run into difficulties related to taste: should we be allowed to include prejudices, stereotypes, sexism, racism, profanity, or even sexual content?! (These roughly in order of offensiveness.) Not that I'd particularly want to--I tend to avoid these things myself. But how far can (or could) we push it before our attempts to more farther in the development of our writing skills runs into the wall of censorship, aka keeping such improprieties out of student work? And if some are permitted (the first two especially spring to mind here, as denying prejudices would be tantamount to denying your writing voice), then why not the others? As so often we have an unresolvable (at least, and in my mind, not satisfactorily resolvable) dilemma between pragmatism and principle...

Monday, April 2, 2012

C-WE #3/4/5: The Psychobabble-meister

Written about a week after C-WE #2
Finally, after so many delays, from Take Ten #5-4, "Superwordacious": Blend a given prefix, root, and suffix into a brand new word to use in the story. [The word, as well as the famous first line to start the story (in this case from David Copperfield by Charles Dickens), are in bold.]

Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show. But since there's only one page here, I might as well say it right here and now: I am not that hero, and nobody else is either. I am merely a humble, self-contradictory, hypocritical, obscure, and just plain faking-it psychobabblemeister, and I make my living by appearing on talk shows to make weighty-seeming pronouncements on "the human condition" of the pitiful specimens that are my co-guests, which sound really deep and insightful but are actually rubbish and garbage, stuff and nonsense, all carefully screened from the naïve viewer's eye by a choking wall of jargon and, well, psychobabble, that just runs on and on and on and on and never really reaches a stopping place, just keeps on going and rolls over the critical thought of others through the crushing weight of its superior number of words and syllables in those words, sort of like this sentence. You see? I'm doing it to you too (although I'm dropping the jargon since I'm not on my usual subject of choice), without even trying! What can I say, I'm a natural--naturally long-winded, prolix, and generally given to say nothing or next to nothing in an incredibly long string of words, so that any real meaning, true thought, and sensible opinion is buried under a landslide of BS that just goes on and on and on and on and... Sorry, I did it again. As I said, I'm a natural--that's why the networks call so often on my services (that, and they love that kind of stuff; also they're lazy and don't want to spend the effort looking for someone new or better--frankly, though, there is none better than me--when they already have one, i.e. me; notice how even in my parenthetical comments I just ramble on and on into infinity... again I apologize for doing this to you when I'm trying as hard as I can, to tell you meaningful truths about myself. I can't help it, I'm sorry...)
So anyway, the point is--speaking really bluntly for once, which is hard on me and requires incredible amounts of effort and soul-searching and... see, I just can't stop! But I'll make a valiant effort......... Okay, here we go. I am merely a psychobabble-meister for TV talk shows (and radio too, occasionally), not a hero, and nobody wants to be a hero for a psychobabblemeister for TV talk shows, so as I said above (before I got so sidetracked--and it's taking me a huge effort no to go off on another tangent right now)--so anyway, the point is, I have no such thing as the "hero of my life", and it only took me a page (keeping my innate longwinded tendencies in check with supreme effort only) to demonstrate it. There. I've said it. Now I can finally give in to my natural urge and start analyzing the effects of this brief repression of my innate tendencies on my psyche and the devastating pain and autocatalyzing destruction of my soul, and the reasons for everything I do, and the reasons behind those reasons, and the reasons behind those, and how it all connects to my relationship with my mother, and hers with my grandfather, and his with my uncle, and ... ... . . . . . . . .

Note: When I first wrote this, I added an out-of-character, inconsequential, completely useless note at the bottom. I threw it out--and now replace it with this one. But I'll keep it brief. Two things: One, note how I avoid the difficulty of writing beautiful concise prose by making my narrator longwinded... and two, note the coincidence: the author of the famous first line was also known for writing long, complex sentences (and I hope he'd forgive me for the horrible way I treated his line...because I certainly wouldn't have!)
Oh, one more thing I had to say. As I uploaded this, my heart was broken when I had to hyphenate the title (to make it fit the sidebar)--because "psychobabblemeister" doesn't, and should never, repeat NEVER, take a hyphen! The pain you experience when you are forced to bend your erstwhile perfect, carefully constructed creation (so it seems to you, no matter its actual worth) to fit constraints... oh, it's the worst thing in the world, I tell you. The absolute worst. Okay, I'll shut up now.

Falling Behind On Catching Up

...is what I was doing the past few weeks. For all that I said "doing right now" and explained at great length my rationale for number (and left you wondering what that long #3/4/5 was), I didn't do anything after that explanatory post.

My excuse? I was busy. (Yeah, yeah, real convincing.) But I was; and then when I finally worked off my backlog of other classwork I had to catch up on (there's that phrase yet again) I no longer had access to the WE's I wanted to upload. So despite a three-week-long lapse, I didn't/couldn't do what I said I would.

But now I finally can! (I think.) I have the time, I have the WE's, I have the will--I can do this! However, seeing what happened the first time, I won't promise anything. I'll just say: let's see how far I get this time before something else gets in the way...

IV. Script Logline Draft

Provisional logline for the script I'm writing for Script Frenzy, titled The Escape:

A mediocre journalist and an incompetent ex-CIA agent who miraculously escaped the secret prison of the nefarious Dr. Nope must evade their pursuers to stay free... and alive. [Word count: 28]

Monday, March 12, 2012

Catching Up

...is what I'm doing right now, as you may have guessed from the appearance of C-WE #6 and 7 out of sequence. I'm now uploading my backlog of C-WE's and WE's in approximate chronological order (using my best guess for some exercises I didn't date--viz. C-WE #2). One last note: for arcane and inexplicable reasons, there was only one C-WE between the first two and the next (officially #6); I have decided to label that one C-WE #3/4/5 and have it do triple duty. It's certainly long enough for three...

C-WE #2: Take Us To Your Leaders

Written shortly after C-WE #1
From Take Ten #16-4, "Construction Phrase": Select one word from each of six columns in order to construct a six-word phrase with which to start your story. [The seed phrase used, as well as the selected famous landmark and superhero, are in bold.]

The aliens adamantly demanded cookies with milk after they had been taken to the obligatory leader (in this case the President himself), but this was Cold War II; the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (plus China) or USSR+C had risen again (on the foundation of the dead bodies of its resisting citizens), was in a state of perpetual distrust and complete lack of negotiation (other than via nuclear warhead), and as it happened, possessed the only glass of milk and plate of cookies left on Planet Earth. Every other set had been requisited for war preparations, and with rationing in effect, no company dared produce them. The only milk&cookies remaining were under quintuple guard in a dour little cube in (and extending under) the Red Square. So how were the aliens going to get their milk&cookies? This was a matter of great importance, as the aliens threatened to destroy the continent they'd crash landed on if their demands weren't met--and who would protect the world from the hideous threat of communism then? Luckily, the the First Lady had a secret identity. Not even her husband knew she was really Wonder Woman, but now she was forced to tell him, and formally requested that she be allowed to search for milk&cookies. The President, knowing full well the location of the only milk&cookies on the planet, and the dangers inherent in their acquisition, tried to dissuade her, but she would not be moved. It was her duty to the United North American States (UNAS), she said, to keep it from being vaporized by alien particle cannons. And so Wonder Woman (aka the First Lady), departed on her epic quest, the details of which are so incredible, intense, and action-packed (not to mention ultra-secret classified) that they cannot be recounted here--not even whether or not she succeeded.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

C-WE #1: A Dream

Written February 2, 2012
From Take Ten #2-8, "Out Cold": When the ball hit you in the head, you were knocked out cold for ten minutes. During that time, you had what you can best describe as the weirdest dream of your life. [The seed phrases are italicized here.]

I was in the Yellow Submarine, and the Beatles were serenading me with a calculus exam. (I don't know how but it all made sense while I was dreaming.) There was a potted venus flytrap looking rather out of place on the ivory grand piano (which took up most of the space apart from the drumset). The music was off-key and completely out of whack (what does a math test sound like after all), and I got lost trying to solve the problems. Then the submarine went out of town on route I-90, and although I was inside the submarine with the Beatles and the piano and the musical exam, and there were no windows, I could see all the purple cars passing us on the left-hand side, more like ghostly violet smears. The sun was shining brightly until it got mysteriously dim, and pretty soon it was dark and the Beatles were singing weird and unearthly tunes that grated on my ear. Then their songs turned into shouting, and then I woke up to see everyone yelling at me to "WAKE UP, ALREADY! We want to get back to playing!"

After writing this, I added this irrelevant postscript for reasons I now cannot fathom...for completeness I include it here:

I'm done, because the parts of my dream that took half a minute to write actually took several to experience, and so I wrote 10 min of dream in less time than that.
And it's too late to add anything because I already ended the dream, and I can't go back and edit!

What was I THINKING?! (Probably nothing.)

Explanations and Conventions

So C-WE #7 ended up appearing even later than I'd thought. This was partly because I didn't (or couldn't) take enough time to finish it up, but more pertinently because (despite what I said in my last non-WE post) I edited the crap out of it. I know; I'm sorry. But I can't leave it at that, oh no. I can't let it go without explaining my choice and conventions in excruciating detail. Please bear with me (again) as I indulge myself.

C-WE #7 was intended as a classwork writing exercise like C-WE #6, but as I wrote, it became clear to me that I wanted to make this a definitive list, not a sketch, and that this would require a bit of research and, of course, editing. So I left the written version unedited, but for the blog "edition" added, reorganized, and corrected extensively. I think it was worth it, but at the same time I don't want to make that the standard for the supposedly informal, unedited WE's.

So I adopted a convention for my use: any editing after the first version of any WE that should(?) have remained unedited will be underlined. In this way you can see that I left only about half my original material untouched for C-WE #7--an unacceptable ratio for the usual WE. If there is no underline in a WE post, the only changes I will ever make to it are correcting typos introduced between the original and the web copy, adding informational headings and notes (easily distinguishable from the WE proper) and (my favorite) changing the formatting and style. In addition, I solemnly promise to keep underlined sections to a minimum and authentic, unedited text to a maximum.

There, I'm done. I got it over with. I hope you're happy now, because I certainly am.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

C-WE #7. Favorite Rhetorical Techniques

Written February 12, 2012
From my own head, uploaded way late and overedited:
A list of my favorite 7 (or so) rhetorical techniques
  1. Paraprosdokian: setting up an "obvious," often clichéd, phrase or situation, then adding an unexpected surprise twist. E.g. Groucho Marx's "I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know."
  2. Irony: My provisional version of the (often misunderstood) definition of irony is an unexpected reversal between expectation and reality. The Wikipedia article I referenced to check says that in an ironic situation "actions taken have an effect exactly opposite from what was intended." E.g. (again stealing shamelessly from Wikipedia) "being shot by one's own gun."
    • That was situational irony, irony in events; irony can also be used for rhetorical effect. In that context, irony involves consistently and intentionally asserting the opposite of one's true beliefs.
    • Related are sarcasm (irony's ignoble cousin) as well as satire:  commentary on the human condition, usually filled to bursting with deadpan ironic delivery; exemplified by Swift's Modest Proposal.
  3. Litotes: intentional understatement. Works well with irony; very enjoyable to use; shades into euphemism if employed only to deceive or spin.
  4. Parallel structure: many subspecies; among them chiasmus (a-b-b-a format); anadiplosis (starting a phrase with the word(s) used to end the previous one; anaphora (starting several phrases with the same word/phrase); and epistrophe (ending several phrases with the same word/phrase). Repetition, especially when it involves twisting the sentence structure just enough but not too much, is an excellent attention grabber.
  5. Hypallage: another one of the techniques (with apostrophe and paraprosdokian) I presented on in AP Lang & Comp; really cool, when you know it's there. It's the transfer of adjectives from the usual subject to a more unlikely (or convenient) one; examples include "drunk driving" (the driving isn't drunk, the driver is, but "a drunk driver driving" is cumbersome) and "the winged sound of whirling" (from Classical Greek; replaces "the sound of whirling wings"!).
  6. Asyndeton: a very popular device; leaving out the "and" in a list. This creates an unusual but powerful effect by removing the emphasis on the last element. Rather than saying "something weird, wild, and wonderful," put all qualities on equal footing by saying "something weird, wild, wonderful." Ah! What a difference.
  7. Polysyndeton: Asyndeton's evil twin brother. Rather than taking the "and" out of the list, add "and" between every element. Produces a sensation of relentless and unceasing flow: "He ran and jumped and shouted and laughed and cried and ate and slept."

Friday, March 2, 2012

III. Favorite 6-Word Memoirs

Smith Magazine 6-Word Memoirs I particularly enjoyed (with reasons why!):
  1. Told I "overanalyze". Let me reflect. I like jokes like this one (set-up plus immediate comeback); emotion evoked was "Oh yeah, me too!" -- see previous posts for (perhaps unnecessary) confirmation.
  2. Never really finished anything, except cake. I love cake! And again I identify with the first part of the statement.
  3. Constantly wondering what I did wrong. Me again. although here I can't tell whether the author shares my self-doubt or was just chronically in trouble. If the latter, I (somewhat, though not entirely) sympathize.
  4. I wrote it all down somewhere. That he did--right there on smithmag.net. Or, of course, he wrote down the answers to life, the universe, and everything somewhere, then forgot where he put them. Either snarky or profound, and I can't tell which. Result: more identification with the author.
  5. Grow up? Had to. Mama died. The only serious one in my selected set. (I don't know what it is about these 6-word memoirs, but it seems to be a lot easier to make them facetious than serious.) This one evokes instant pity and/or sympathy (hard to distinguish) and manages to encapsulate a whole (adolescent) life story, with triumph and tragedy, loss and recovery, in three short sentences. This one, I think, epitomizes the "serious" six-word novel, up there with Hemingway's original.
  6. Wait, what is going on here? Story of my life. Story of everyone's life, really. What is actually going on in this crazy, messed-up universe? Stop to seriously think about that, and you have little choice but to be just as confused as this writer. Nobody really has a clue, so you might as well go ahead and admit it. That's what I see in this sarcastically philosophical little gem.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Even More About Me

(Like I didn't tell you enough last time)

However, this is partially triggered by my last blog entry, so please bear with me. As you may have guessed from post Ia. (but I didn't actually say outright), I am a perfectionist. As I noted below, this means that I can accept failure, but I will never--NEVER--be happy with it. Ever. I can remain embarrassed by my failures years after they occur. It's rather sad. In addition, I spend far too much time on getting every little thing just right. (For proof, just look at this blog. I spent hours customizing the design where others would be satisfied with minutes--even going so far as to edit the CSS manually--and I'm still not done. That's how crazy I am.)

The point behind this, though, is to explain what happened between CWE #6 and CWE #7. Simply put, due to my perfectionistic bent I spent far too much time on editing CWE #6 (most of it invisibly, before writing, or by erasing and rewriting the phrase I put before). If I recall, I also spent a lot of the time on customizing the blog design.... The result: I ended up writing one assignment in the time of two, and having to "make up" CWE #7 in class the next day (on paper, hence the delay in its appearance on the blog). This is especially problematic in light of the fact that WE's are supposed, by design, to be short, unconstrained, unedited outpourings of writing, not longish, carefully composed, and heavily edited pieces. Yet another thing I could be working on to improve, I suppose.

I'll try. I'll really try. I'll force myself to work over more reasonable (i.e. shorter) time periods. But I have a sinking feeling it'll be as hard as chopping down the (forest (of (parentheses)))...

P.S. With all those parentheses, I should just write my exercises directly in LISP.... Hey! That sounds like an intriguing idea for a WE...

Thursday, February 16, 2012

C-WE #6. Missing Chair

From The Pocket Muse: A character arrives at work to find her chair missing. What happened to it?

Ms. Grace entered her cubicle, looked at her coworkers as usual, booted up her computer as usual, straightened her hair as usual, and sat down as usual, all without looking. This was unfortunate, as her chair was no longer there, and she ended up on the floor, rather a harder landing than expected, which caused her to emit a loud whoop. After gathering up the few remaining scattered fragments of her shattered dignity, she stood up, called out to the entire room, "Where Is My Chair?!" (literally in title case), and promptly fell out of the center of attention as everyone speculated on the chair's mysterious vanishment.
"Maybe it fell into a miniature black hole which closed up immediately after it and transported it to another dimension," guessed Mr. Roberts.
"No way, Occam's razor cuts that to shreds. What obviously happened is that it was eaten by beavers," rejoined Mrs. Lane.
"Are you crazy? That chair wasn't even made of wood! How the heck would beavers have eaten a metal and plastic chair--and where would they go afterwards?" Mr. Roberts said heatedly, angry at the dismissal of his theory.
"It still makes a lot more sense than your stupid black hole," Mrs. Lane responded, and would have started a fight but Mr. Johnson got in the way.
"There's no need for fighting--you're both wrong," he advised them. "Obviously, the chair grew legs and ran away."
"That's just nonsense," said Mrs. Lane and Mr. Roberts in unison. Surprised by their agreement, they stopped, stunned, and never reentered the discussion, too amazed to speak further.
Mrs. Samuel had something to say though. "Chairs don't grow legs, you fool!" she yelled at Mr. Johnson. "Obviously someone here took it!"
Awkward silence. Everyone looked at everyone else (except Mrs. Lane and Mr. Roberts, who were still completely out of it). Then Mr. Johnson spoke up. "Rubbish! I never heard anything so stupid in my entire life! The chair grew legs, I know it, I can see it--well, in my mind I can. Any other explanation is bunkum!"
And with that the discussion began again, louder and more heated than ever (except, of course, for Mrs. Lane and Mr. Roberts, who were still staring at each other). Everyone was shouting, violence was threatening, the room was disintegrating into chaos...then Mr. Johnson (looking for support for his legs theory) asked Johnny, who inhabited the cubicle in the corner, what he thought. "You haven't said anything yet. What's your idea?"
"I don't have one," the boy replied into the general lull. "Although I think your idea is the best."
"You see, you see??!" shouted Mr. Johnson, and the fighting started right back up again.
Meanwhile, Johnny remained sitting quietly in his cubicle. He was the only one who hadn't stood up at the beginning of the dispute--and with good reason: he was sitting on Ms. Grace's chair.

Point of Order

At random times the official blog posts (Roman numerals) may be interspersed with writing assignments done out of class (WE #x) or in class (C-WE #x), as well as random and/or organizational meta stuff (no number, like this post). Depending on my inclinations, I may put all the WE's I write on this blog or only some; haven't decided yet.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

II. Writing Goals

In my previous two posts, I didn't explicitly describe my writing style; instead, you got to see it. At its worst, it is (as you may have noticed) long-winded, somewhat unfocused and jumpy as I return to make the same point again (and parenthesis-heavy (notice the meta-comment (here))), occasionally dry, and in places even depressing. That is my "serious" style (caricatured to its worst side, of course), and I apologize for any injury caused your minds by its use in posts I and Ia. I also have a frivolous style, where I don't care about making a serious case and instead just make up as much random nonsense as I can (this works better for fiction), with lots of snarky phrases and, occasionally, self-commentary (like the parenthesis comment above). You will notice that a few of these phrases crept into my "serious" essay in the first two posts.

What I believe I need for improvement, is--wait for it--a balance (gah! that word again) between the two, so that the serious writing is neither dry nor depressing, while any non-serious writing is more sensible and less random, yet at the same time keep both caricatured styles available for any rare occasion that requires either dullness or randomosity (yes, I know that's not a word, but that's the point). Particular target: figurative language--I tend to be very literal, and so dislike overly flowery descriptions, but as a result I tend to neglect descriptive sections altogether (not good for fiction, and an invitation for dryness in nonfiction). I will need, in future writing, to--balance--its use and avoidance. (Seriously, "balance": stop following me already! I'm trying to work here.) I'll also need to work on controlling my exploding population of parentheses. My tendency to running on and on, whether to dull oblivion or a pinnacle of absurdity, can (and should, if I believe all those writer's manuals) be kept in check only by editing.

The other category from the sheet ("variety" being already covered somewhat through devices and tones, "thoughtfulness" and "mechanics" not posing me any problems), i.e. "volume," contains one thing I may need to work on: number of pages per week, a.k.a. actually sitting down to write and writing. I have a very busy schedule, with almost too much going on, and on top of that I tend to procrastinate. I'll just need to find the time, smack myself a couple of times, and do it, I suppose.

So those are my goals for improvement in writing, and they all seem doable (except (maybe (dealing (with (that (malignant (infestation (of (parentheses...))))))))) I'll see you next time, hopefully improving already.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Ia. About Me

Speaking of unconventionality, one other unconventional thing I did was to split my welcome message into two posts. I tend to ramble a lot, and the welcome message grew too long (in my own opinion: I'm a harsh critic of my mistakes even while I continue making them) to add yet another slew of paragraphs describing my weird and wonderful self. So I put it into a separate post. Genius...or too lazy to write a concise, on-topic, well-edited welcome message in a single post? None can say (at least not without me contradicting them, whichever point of view they choose).

So: about me! I am, as stated before, a high school senior in a Creative Writing semester elective English course. I am a German citizen and a legal permanent U.S. resident. I'm not going to bother describing my physical appearance, as--oh, heck with it, here goes: tall, scrawny, red hair, scraggly beard-in-progress, glasses, quasi-athletic but not really an athlete, et cetera. Are you happy now? (That question went to my inner critic, not to you readers.)

Anyway, back on topic: I enjoy being creative--in past school courses and sometimes at home I have drawn, played (on piano and organ) and composed music, programmed, done electrical circuit design, and, of course, written. Music especially has insidiously been taking over my mind and thoughts this past year, but I lack the talent and/or self-discipline to be anything but an amateur. Nevertheless, I find myself humming semi-random tunes (or snippets from real works) much more often than would befit a sane human being. Horrifyingly, I seem to be doing more and more creative work in my other favored disciplines as well--partly due to my choice of electives, and partly I think that all my creative activity has rendered me too insane to stop.

In all these works, old and new, I am my own harshest critic, believe others overrate my abilities, and often think I, as well, have too high an opinion of myself. I am, however, also critical of my harsh self-criticism; as a result, I've come to accept errors, mistakes, and weaknesses in my work as natural, but that doesn't mean I'll forgive myself for making them.

I also pride myself on my skills of analysis and my balanced viewpoint, hints of which may be seen above and in the previous post, but am the first to admit that I often fail at both. I easily get bogged down in details and lose my way when analyzing, while a truly balanced viewpoint requires more information (and better analysis) than are possible with a human brain. In consequence, I tend to give up on analysis too quickly, and to keep my brain from overloading and keep at least some stability I hold on to partialities I feel (in more idealistic moments) I should be questioning.

As you may have guessed, I think deeply and philosophize a lot, but I hate philosophy. This is because philosophy is the absolute worst field for my loved-hated analysis: there are no right answers (in fact, it wouldn't surprise me if every answer is wrong) and the details and complexities and conundrums are horrendous. Yet I want everything analyzed, every question answered, every paradox resolved--so I think more about philosophy than I care to. At the same time, I try to limit my excursions into this quicksand of insoluble problems because I know (or more likely assume--without any experimental evidence[!!]) that agonizing over the answers to answerless questions will drive me insane even faster than will my creativity. Still, I can't stop my insatiable desire to know and understand more--more, perhaps than is good for me.

But I've rambled (again) long enough, so to round out my self-portrait, here are a few more character odds and ends that I've picked up along the way:
  • I love language (that's one reason I write); English, German, French, other languages, translation, linguistics, puns (too much for my own good), wordplay, crosswords cryptic and otherwise, writing systems...
  • I also love mathematics (which has much more conclusive answers and proofs than does philosophy), especially when solving mathematical puzzlers--the more complicated yet elegant, the better. I enjoy as well the natural sciences, physics and chemistry especially, and am also drawn to the problem-solving aspect of engineering.
  • I am shy and withdrawn, and usually don't speak unless I am spoken to or in the company of old friends. When I do speak, however, I usually spend a long time assembling my phrases, begin somewhat awkwardly, and then run on always a little longer than necessary, wanting to get that last bit of clarification in.
  • I love order and competency, yet am ashamed to admit my desk at home is a mess and I procrastinate far too much. That I nevertheless continue to do so well in school should amaze me, but I've lazily come to take it for granted.
  • I love dolphins, owls (in fact, just about all birds), and, most especially, penguins. These last I have managed to include in several school projects so far and always look for a chance to drag them in; meanwhile I have doodled them, in various forms, on countless sheets of paper, in several notebooks, and on black-, white-, and SmartBoards around the school and elsewhere.
I've taken up your time long enough now, but before I go I have one final, philosophical(!) note to make. I dislike hypocrisy and self-contradiction, and yet the more I reflect the more of these disagreeable vices I see in myself. There are even times when I intentionally contradict everything I and everyone around me says (done more in jest than in seriousness, but still shocking when thought over soberly). So how can I detest hypocrisy in others when I myself cannot maintain a consistent position? The answer, of course, is that I, like everyone else, am--inconsistent. How charming. (See what philosophizing gets you into?) And on that happy note, I'll sign off.

Monday, February 13, 2012

I. Welcome

Welcome. If you are reading this, you fall into one of two categories: group A is people from my Creative Writing class, who know I'm writing this (as I know they're writing their own); group B is everybody else, who will probably only reach this site by chance, on a whim. You are all equally welcome, and though group A people have the advantage of (a little) familiarity with the themes contained herein, the experience will hopefully be more novel and rewarding for group B visitors.

As you may have guessed from the title and from the identity of group A, this blog contains many diverse, often random thoughts on Creative Writing, a semester high school course I'm taking at the time of this writing. I may as well begin now, with some ruminations on transience (such a delicious word!)

Obviously, this blog will not continue on forever; I will have to stop posting, at the latest, when I die (yet another example of transience: my finite existence). But to fall back to less weighty considerations, I have a sad suspicion that this blog will "end," i.e. cease to be updated, at the end of Creative Writing in June. Depending on the quality and qualities of what is posted here and hereafter, this may or may not be a loss and a pity. Equally regrettable will be those of you from group B who pass by, realize you've clicked the wrong link and/or don't much care for the sophomoric ramblings of a high school senior, and never return again. There will probably be quite a few of you; or (even worse) next to none: that would be awful, because I would prefer this blog to get as wide a readership as possible, and most importantly, as wide a regular readership as possible. But there again we run into the transience of the medium of blogging: at some point, it will end, and no matter how many regular readers I have at that point, many will lose heart at the end of our common journey and never return again. (My heartfelt gratitude and amazement to anyone who actually comes back and rereads favorite posts after the blog quits, or I quit it; unless, of course, no such person exists or will exist, in which case sorry, wrong number.)

But enough of this deprecating and potentially depressing talk of transient phenomena in the form of blog posts. I'd like to conclude with one of my favorite things: unconventionality. I enjoy it, most of the time, except when it turns out to be too unconventional even for my tastes. You see some of it here in this entry: a welcome message that is long, involved, long, ironic, and too long, and makes the horrible mistake of dividing its potential readers into groups without even asking their opinion (for which I apologize unreserved ly--but how many of you have continued reading up to here?)! I like to think that gives me a refreshing touch of unconventionality; but I also think, though I don't like to, that it completely destroys any chance of good, fun-to-read writing. (You may notice that I tend to accept completely contrasting views of a topic; now is this unconventional as well, or just indecisive? I can't tell...) Unconventionality is two-edged, and often three-edged just to mess with your mind and break out of the confining boxes of convention--that's what I love about it; however, it is easy to do something unconventionally and fail miserably at it by virtue of your unconventional approach. The balance is difficult to find. I probably have yet to find it. But it will be one of the things I search for, on this journey that remains in a single definable yet difficult-if-not-impossible-to-pinpoint location on some server somewhere, also known as this blog. (Reflect for an instant on the intriguing fact that you have, in all probability, no idea where this blog post is stored, and yet you will always be able to find it by typing in a URL into your browser--yet another mind-expanding experiment with an unconventional perspective.) My hope is that the unconventionality I include will make this blog fun, or at least interesting, to read (and to keep whatever readers I may have the supreme fortune to attract coming back for more until I am cut short by transience).

In any case, whether you read the long-winded paragraphs above or not, whether you read this blog or not, whether you read this sentence or not: Welcome. The journey promises to be most interesting.